Eris and the Apple of Discord
Discordians worship Eris, Goddess of Chaos, Discord and Confusion.
It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis
and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.
This is known as the Original Snub and made Eris very angry. She then fashioned
an apple of pure gold and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("to the Prettiest One").
On the day of the Banquet, She rolled the apple in the hall and left to be alone
and joyously partake of a hot dog.
The rest of the story is common knowledge: Athena, Hera and Aphrodite each claimed
the apple belonged to herself because of the inscription. The banquet turned into
a big fight and Zeus decided to calm things down by designing an arbitrator, a shepherd
of Troy named Paris.
Each of the three Goddesses tried to bribe Paris. Athena offered him Heroic War
Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful
Woman on Earth. Since Paris was a horny little bastard, he choose Aphrodite as the Prettiest
Goddess and he got screwed.
The Most Beautiful Women on Earth happened to be Helen, wife of Menelaus,
the King of Sparta. Menelaus got really pissed off when Helen was taken away from
him and he declared war on Troy. The Trojan War ensued and lasted for years. And so
we suffer because of the Original Snub.
At some time in the sixties, two young Californians, known later
as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging
in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley
and generally solving the world's problems. Suddenly, time halted,
except for them. A flash of light revealed a chimpanzee,
shaggy and grey about the muzzle. He spoke of the Confusion in
all the world and how somebody had to put it all here. Then, he
showed them a scroll on which was drawn a diagram, like a
yin-yang symbol with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other.
The chimpanzee vanished and the two lost consciousness.
In the following days, they searched libraries to find the
significance of the chimpanzee's diagram. It was not until
they traced the Greek writings on the Apple that they discovered
the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans
as DISCORDIA. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that
night, each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman who spoke in
a warm and gentle voice:
"I have come to tell you that you are free.
Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might
develop himself. I return to find this development approaching
completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.
You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and
clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are
clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit
is broiled in the sun.
I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and
scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your
children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos.
I am alive, and I tell you that you are free."
(K) - All rights reversed
(copy what you like...)